The Ultimate Tinfoil Hat!
Actually, it's not tinfoil, it's stainless steel.
Hand-crafted by yours truly, complete with internal
cloth padding for comfortable wear.
Bothered by mind-control rays? Worried that aliens are
intercepting (or worse still, CONTROLLING) your thoughts?
Concerned about Harmful Rays from the
project compromising your cognitive function? Can't find
your roll of aluminum foil? Pestered by government
agencies? If so, then YOU, my friend, need this spiffy
cranial protection to shield you from the deadly invisible
electromagnetic radiation that is battering your neurons
EVEN AS WE SPEAK.
Guaranteed to confuse the socks off everyone around!