Behold...

The Ultimate Tinfoil Hat!

Actually, it's not tinfoil, it's stainless steel. Hand-crafted by yours truly, complete with internal cloth padding for comfortable wear.

Bothered by mind-control rays? Worried that aliens are intercepting (or worse still, CONTROLLING) your thoughts? Concerned about Harmful Rays from the HAARP project compromising your cognitive function? Can't find your roll of aluminum foil? Pestered by government agencies? If so, then YOU, my friend, need this spiffy cranial protection to shield you from the deadly invisible electromagnetic radiation that is battering your neurons EVEN AS WE SPEAK.

Guaranteed to confuse the socks off everyone around!